There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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