Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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