Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
