Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
