maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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