Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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