Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I could make wine with my vomit
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
