I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize