READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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