hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize