The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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