The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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