ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.