if you like me you must not know who I am
i think my mom watched the whole time
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
