wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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