so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize