I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we're making bets on your personal life
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize