I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
