what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
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you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
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Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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