You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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