The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
