just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Even the bartender felt bad for me
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
