Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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