Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
