the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
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Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
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I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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