nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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