Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
