Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
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Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
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I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize