STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
