P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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