currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
