If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
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Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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