I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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