I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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