I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
