ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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