Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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