You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize