There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
