How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
