I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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