eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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