I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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