somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
