tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just had sex on a roof
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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