I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize