Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
