just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
