brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think I died a long time ago.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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