i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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