The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
