Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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