Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
