I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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