YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize