fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
